Avoid the Guesswork

"Don't make assumptions" is the third guideline for living with integrity, according to Don Miguel Ruiz' book, The Four Agreements. The assumptions he writes about include predicting the outcome of situations, "mind reading" others, or even limiting our risk-taking because we doubt our abilities. Ruiz maintains that asking questions is the surest way to avoid the assumption pitfall. With accurate feedback, we can learn our partner's true needs, rather than guessing at what they want. We can accumulate facts rather than rely on hunches. By asking questions, we can assess the reality of risk, rather than catastrophizing ourselves into a paralysis of action. Asking questions demonstrates curiosity, a willingness to own what we don't know, and allows both parties to be a part of co-creating movement forward. When we don't assume we have all the answers, we allow room for authenticity and truth to flourish.